It’s an interesting thing being social, connecting with other people and building relationships. Some people love being sociable, they really enjoy having many friends or catching up with family often and others prefer to limit their friendships or simply enjoy being with family only. The important thing is to know what you like and enjoy but do realise that building relationships and connecting with people really is important to us physically, cognitively, psychologically and emotionally [1].
My Grandma wasn’t particularly sociable with outsiders. Especially as she got older, but there was one thing she loved and that was being with her family. Two daughters lived in the country so she would catch the bus or train each year to see them and their growing families for a few weeks at a time. For the rest of the year, it was weekly phone calls and letters in the mail to catch up on their news. For me though, we lived just around the corner so throughout my childhood we saw her multiple times a week and every day on weekends. I can remember helping Mum and Dad do her garden every fortnight and Dad would drop the evening newspaper into her every night on his way home from work, 1) to make sure she was ok, 2) to have a chat and see how her day had been. I was so fortunate to grow up with this being modelled to me without any words spoken about the respect and love we had for Grandma. One of my favourite memories was walking through the park to her place in the afternoon and having a chat and seeing how she was, whether she’d picked up a bargain in town, but more importantly she knew what everyone in the extended family of 15 was up to, so I got all of the family gossip because she was the centre of it all!
Research shows that being social, building strong relationships and connections with other people, and they don’t have to be family, some families just don’t work that way, is very good for our quality of life and is essential to successful ageing. Most people during the pandemic spent at least a few weeks in isolation or were unable to see the important people in their life when they wanted to, and this really elevated just how important human interaction is for us all.
As we get older, we start to worry about whether dementia or cognitive impairment will creep into our lives. I am just finishing a study for people living with mild cognitive impairment and many potential participants were highly concerned about their cognition because their parents had Alzheimer’s Disease, so they were really worried they were going to get it. We know that social isolation in later life increases your risk of being diagnosed with dementia [2]. We also know that there is a relationship between social activities and networks and cognitive functioning of healthy older adults [3]. So having regular social interactions is very important at any age, but particularly as we get older.
It must be noted though that social interactions and relationships across our lives can be positive or negative, at different points. Greater overall involvement in formal social activities such as volunteering or informal with family and friends can be very beneficial to our health especially over long periods of time. However, there can be some negatives to social relationships we need to watch out for. Marriage for example, can be amazing or extremely stressful depending on the situation you are in. Poor marital quality has been shown to affect our immune systems and increase likelihood of depression [3]. Having very stressful relationships throughout childhood also contributes to psychological and physiological stress as we get older due to cumulative damage on our physiological systems. It might be difficult to avoid this as a child given we have little control in our early years, but as adults it is recommended we maintain positive relationships and social connections as much as possible and reduce the number of negative interactions where we can.
You don’t have to have a lot of social connections or activities, but some is better than none
Have a think about what is right for you, do your friends make you feel good, I really hope they do. Surround yourself with people who lift you up rather than drag you down
Some programs and activities that may interest people in Australia are
Your Local Government may have Seniors Activities too
For social activities and groups in the UK go to AgeUK or click here
Where your social ties overburden you, are strained, conflicted or abusive, these will undermine your health, see if it is possible to improve these situations
Volunteering is a great way to build new relationships, try and do something you enjoy
Become a research participant, you might benefit but others certainly will in the future based on the findings – sorry couldn’t help myself!
If you are doing something social and being physically active at the same time, like going for a walk to the local café, you get the double whammy positive health benefit. Give it a go, you might enjoy it.
Live the good life!
References:
[1] Gonnord et al. (2023) Positive impact of social relationships fostered by physical and/or cognitive group activity on older people’s quality of life: PRISMA systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology; 14:1166072. DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1166072.
[2] Kelly et al. (2017) The impact of social activities, social networks, social support and social relationships on the cognitive functioning of healthy older adults: a systematic review. Systematic Reviews; 6:259. DOI: 10.1186/s13643-017-0632-2.
[3] Umberson & Montez. (2010) Social relationships and health: A flashpoint for health policy. Journal of Health & Social Behavior; 51(Suppl): S54-S66. DOI: 10.1177/0022146510383501.
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